Mental Health: Worrying That You’re Not Living Up To People’s Expectations Of You.

With gift giving season on it’s way, I thought I would do a new post in my Mental Health series, and speak about those feelings of not being good enough, or not being able to make EVERYONE happy. In real life, not everyone can be pleased, and you can only do so much. There is so much peer pressure in today’s society to be “perfect” or to fit yourself into some sort of category, whether that’s a line of work that you’re being pressured into, or simply having to change who you truly are to fit in with the people around you. I know that lots of people are expected to act a certain way at University for example to “fit in” and have that “freshers image”, but soon enough you’ll become rattled at not being able to just BE YOU.

It’s different when it comes to your parents and they will want the best for you – there’s no doubt about that. They became parents for a reason; to bring you into this world encouraging you not to make mistakes, or go down the wrong path in life. It’s difficult in the “teenage rebellion” stage of life, because you’ll find it harder to listen to their advice and instructions – being under 18 that is anyway. Things do get easier when you become an adult at 18, but they’ll still be there with guidance, and that guidance is there for a reason. However, you should never feel pressured into fitting into some kind of mould just to please them. I’ll be honest in saying that lately, I have really struggled with the idea of what career path I’m going down, what I’m doing long term, and whether I should be choosing this based on whether it makes other people happy or not.

Society is crazy in the fact that, yes we are becoming more accepting of people and their differences, but at the same time, there will always be judgement out there. Every year for Christmas – and even simply birthdays, I put so much pressure on myself to be able to give the right presents to people to live up to their “expectations”, and have this worry that something may not be good enough, or appreciated. This is something that can really weigh you down if you’re constantly thinking about it, and so have the mindset of: whatever you find in the shops, and no matter how much it costs (because the expense of gifts really isn’t everything as we aren’t all millionaires), people who appreciate the thought will accept it regardless.

There really should be no expectations when it comes to your ability on giving to others, or how you wish to lead your life as everyone is different. As long as you have manners and are respectful of everyone’s individual strengths and weaknesses, then you can’t really go wrong. If people really have the audacity to mock you or make you feel ashamed of decisions that you feel can actually have a POSITIVE impact in your life, then they clearly aren’t as opened minded, or respectful of your goals. We can’t please everyone – as much as we try to – there will always be individuals making things that little bit more tricky, but MAYBE they’re there for a reason? To make you want it more?

Monday Motivation: “An attitude of positive expectation, is the mark of the superior personality.”

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